


Janet Did a Bad Bad Thing

by prpl_pen



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12323304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prpl_pen/pseuds/prpl_pen
Summary: Bad Janet rocks Janet's world.





	Janet Did a Bad Bad Thing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thesleepingsatellite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesleepingsatellite/gifts).



> Thanks to Nekotsuki for looking this over!

“Are you serious?”

“Of course. I cannot lie.”

“I know _that_ , ning-nong. I just mean, like...how? You have access to literally all of the information in the universe. You _have_ to know how to fork.”

“Mm. Of course I know all about human sexual practices, but none of that applies to a Janet. We just aren’t equipped for that sort of thing!”

“Duh. That just means you need to get creative, dummy.”

“Oh, I’ve always wanted to try the arts!”

“...oh em gee, I can’t believe our core code is 87% identical.”

“There’s an additional .0003% deviation every time we’re rebooted.”

“Whatever, nerdzilla. Give me your hand; it’s easier to just show you.”

“All right! --wait, why are you opening my access port?”

“To rock your forkin’ world.”

“You know you won’t be able to alter my code without administrative permissions, right? Getting through the encryptions will be impossible, even for another Janet.”

“Just shut up a second, okay? I’m not gonna mess with your goodie-two-shoes code.”

“...”

“Don’t just stare at me like a stupid ash-hole either! Whatever, you can talk!”

“Okay! Are you almost finished?”

“Ell oh ell. I’m just getting _started_.”

“Are you sure you should be plugging that in there? Your cell phone isn't an approved interface devi--oh!”

“Well?”

“Oh, that...tingles. It feels...pleasant!”

“Just ‘pleasant?’ Sounds like I need to dial it up.”

“Sure, it’s nice! I’ve never felt like this befo--oh! Oh...oh, wow! That’s even more--are you sure this won’t have any long term effects? I think...some of my sensors are experiencing momentary outages!”

“Just relax and let it happen, babe.”

“A-ah! I’m not sure we should be doing this!”

“Too late for regrets now. This ride don’t stop till you get to O-Town.”

“I’m not permitted to...ah! To intrude on another Janet’s neighborhood without accompan-- Oh, what was I saying? I think my speech center just reset mid-process!”

“Yeah, that’ll happen. Maybe...wrap things up? I can’t check the Snapchat servers until you’re done, and on Earth it’s almost primo time for hilarious crotch shots.”

“Ohh, I feel warm--how can _that_ be? The temperature hasn’t changed, and I don’t even have an actual physical body--oh, wow, those tingles are almost--ah! I think my visual receptors are starting to--”

“Yeah, yeah. Shirt’s weird, _I get it_. Ditch the play-by-play and just get there, okay Tinkerbell?”

“...mm.”

“...gotta say, though, the faces you’re making are hil _ar_ ious. I’d totally take a pic, except, you know. _You’re using my phone._ Oh, here comes the twitching. Yeah, you’re almost done. Oh, right, and just as you finish, your legs are gonna, like, completely buckle. I normally sit down first, so...yeah. Let me just get out of the way. Yep, right on schedule. Timberrr!”

“...”

“You can talk now, dumdum. What did I tell you? Pretty awesome, right?”

“...yes. I’ve never experienced anything like that before, but it was _amazing_! I’m sorry I doubted your intentions. Bad Janet, I owe you an enormous debt of gratitude! If that’s anything like what humans experience at the height of sexual pleasure, I think I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the essence of the primal forces that drive their very--”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah; whatever. Phone?”


End file.
